How to Communicate Effectively and Respectfully with Autistic Individuals

Autistic individuals often approach communication differently from non-autistic individuals, both in how they express themselves and how they interpret others.

This guide provides insights into these differences and offers practical tips for fostering meaningful and clear communication.

How Autistic People Communicate Differently

Autistic individuals tend to be non-traditional communicators, however, each will have their own unique profile and may or may not have differences in the areas described below.

• Literal and Honest Communication: Autistic people can prefer direct, literal language. We tend to avoid superficial conversations or “small talk” and may find deeper, more meaningful topics more comfortable.

• Infodumping: When an Autistic person is passionate about a topic, we may share detailed information extensively, known as “infodumping”. This might appear as monologuing on a subject of interest, but it is often a way of connecting with others and sharing our knowledge.

• Body Language: Autistic individuals may use body language differently, including minimising eye contact or looking intensely, sitting or standing in unique positions, or stimming. Understand that these forms of communication are not signs of disinterest or disengagement and can be Autistic displays of happiness or anxiety, and an important tool to process information and regulate our emotions.

• Echolalia: Echolalia, or the repetition of words, phrases, or even entire conversations, is common. This might involve quoting movies, TV shows, song lyrics, or memes. It can serve as a way to process language or express a thought.

• Pre-Prepared Scripts: Many Autistic people rely on pre-prepared scripts or phrases when communicating in social settings. This strategy can help us “fit in” or reduce the likelihood of misunderstanding. The use of familiar scripts offers a structured way of navigating social interactions.

• Alternative Methods of Communication: Autistic people might also express themselves through non-speaking means such as gestures, sign language, or Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC) systems. AAC can be both high-tech (like apps) or low-tech (like picture boards or letterboards). Recognising that communication extends beyond speech – and is equally valid and valuable –  is essential for fostering inclusive conversations.

• Friendships and Social Preferences: Autistic individuals often connect with those with similar interests, values, and communication styles, regardless of age. Many of us feel more comfortable socialising in highly structured environments, such as online gaming or forming friendships in online communities. These spaces allow for more control over social dynamics and can feel less overwhelming than in-person interactions.

Tips for Communicating with Autistic Individuals

Understanding how to communicate with Autistic individuals can create more inclusive, empathetic, and engaging interactions. The following strategies can be highly effective, and don’t just benefit Autistic people — they improve communication for all.

• Presume Competence: All Autistic individuals deserve the presumption of competence in communication, whether they are speaking or non-speaking. This means assuming that the Autistic person can understand you, rather than defaulting to the belief they cannot. By presuming competence, you create an environment where their thoughts and insights are valued, and they are given the opportunity to express themselves in their own way.
• Ask About Communication Preferences: It’s important to begin any interaction by asking about the individual’s communication needs and preferences. For example, some Autistic individuals may prefer written communication over spoken language. Don’t assume how someone communicates — ask and respect their response. For tips for communicating with Autistic spellers, read What I Wish People Understood About Non-Speaking Autistics Who Spell to Communicate from Autistic speller, Patrick Saunders.
• Be Literal and Clear: Use clear, straightforward language. Avoid idioms, metaphors, jargon, or sarcasm. Phrases like “kill two birds with one stone” may cause confusion or distress for someone who interprets language literally. Being specific and direct helps reduce ambiguity.
• Provide Context and Clarity: When giving instruction, be as precise as possible. Answering questions like “What does finished look like?” can help clarify expectations and reduce potential miscommunication. Autistic individuals may juggle many tasks at once, so offering clear, detailed instructions in a format they can refer back to when needed, can be particularly beneficial.
• Reframe Questions: If you receive a response that doesn’t seem to align with your expectations, try reframing the question. For instance, a simple query like “Where are you from?” can be interpreted in multiple ways — where someone lives now, where they grew up, or their ethnic background. Clarifying what you mean can help avoid confusion.
• Check for Understanding: Regularly check in to ensure both you and the Autistic individual understand each other. This can prevent frustration and improve communication. If someone becomes overwhelmed, break your sentences into smaller parts, pause frequently, and offer visual aids like diagrams.
• Allow time: Offer breaks both within the conversation and outside of it, to give the Autistic individual time to process information more comfortably. Be sensitive to the fact that it can take a non-speaker 20+ mins to type/spell a sentence so keep communication succinct, and don’t overwhelm them with too many questions.
• Recap Conversations: Summarising key points of a conversation, either at the end or in writing, can reinforce understanding and offer a reference point for later. This is useful not only for Autistic individuals but for everyone, as it helps solidify the key takeaways.
• Respect Individual Differences: Each Autistic individual is unique, so don’t assume that what works for one person will work for another, but always begin by presuming competence. Communication styles, preferences, and needs vary widely, so being flexible and open to adjusting your approach is critical and will lead to richer and more fulfilling conversations for everyone.
• Remember communication is bi-directional: Autistic people often experience the world differently from non-autistic people, which can create a “double empathy” problem. Just as Autistic individuals might struggle to understand non-autistic social norms, non-autistic people may find it difficult to interpret Autistic communication. This mismatch can lead to misunderstandings on both sides.

Acknowledging that communication differences exist, and striving to bridge those gaps, can foster mutual understanding and empathy.